Frontier's Funniest Moments
by ambiekinz
Summary: Just flat out random moments with the frontier gang. No story line, no plot, just this.
1. JP's Commercial

**A/N: **Hello dear readers! Sorry I didn't update this in like…Two weeks ^_^; I completely forgot I even HAD this story going. Whoops.  
I am very bored, but since I have no idea what to do now…Uhm. Let's have another commercial break! Featuring, none other than our famous chubby dude that loves chocolate!

Takuya: "…Me?"

No you idiot, I was talking about J.P

Takuya: "…Ohhh"

* * *

**~ A Moment~**

J.P: "Welcome one and all to my new corporation…EMOO milk! Milk for all those emo people that believe regular milk looks too happy!"  
Koji: "J.P, there's no such thing as emoo milk"  
J.P: "Yes there is"  
Koji: "No there isn't"  
J.P: "Oh really!? Then why were you advertising emoo milk in the last episode? Hmm, emo boy?"  
Koji: "Okay one, NEVER call me emo boy. And two, I wasn't advertising emoo milk. I was just being weirdly emo for some reason"  
Kouichi: (walks in) "It's true, Koji's an idiot" (walks out)  
Koji: "I am NOT!"

J.P: "You kind of…Are"  
Koji: "Grr…"  
J.P: "Anyways, EMOO MILK! Coming to stores near you!"  
Koji: "There is NO such thing as emoo milk!"  
J.P: "Security!"

{Security walks in and drags Koji away}

Koji: "I'll get you J.P! Just wait…"  
J.P: "Ladies and gentlemen THAT is what it looks like when a sad, sad emo boy doesn't have EMOO milk"  
Koji: "Grr..."

Crowd: "ooohh, awe"  
J.P: [holds up glass of emoo milk] "As you can see, the emoo milk is black and mysterious…Just like all those emo people out there!"  
Crowd: "Ohhh.."

J.P: "And the black coloring makes you want to just take a razor and cut yourself! Emo people will LOVE this drink!"  
Random person in crowd: "Eww…How did it get so black and disgusting looking?"  
J.P: "Simple, my little emo friend. (lol) The coloring is black because the milk came from…EMO COWS!"  
Crowd: "oohhh fancy!"

J.P: [smiles at camera] "So go get yourself a bottle of EMOO MILK!"

Some narrator: ".,itwillpracticallykillyou."

Crowd: "...Huh?"

J.P: "hehe…" [Shifty eyes]

* * *

**~ End Moment ~  
****A/N:** Alright-y, that's all for now everyone. Please review!

"**R&R Is good for you, so do what's right and go review! "  
…Did that rhyme? Well, in my brain it did lol**


	2. Tommy's Question

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated this story in a LONG time ^-^; I had some...complications with this story

Takuya: "You mean that you were too lazy to get off your dang butt and update this!?"

No...That's not it...Not at all...

Takuya: "Liar"

Oh go drink some emoo milk with Koji or something! Leave me alone!

* * *

**BACKSTAGE**

Tommy: "Hey Takuya"  
Takuya: "Hey Tommy, what's up?"  
Tommy: "Well...I sort of had a question. And I thought since you know a lot, you could answer it"  
Kouichi: (Walking past them) "Takuya? Know a lot!? HA HA! Good one Tommy!"

Takuya: "Jerk! Anyway, what was your question?"  
Tommy: "Where do babies come from?"  
Takuya: O_O "Uhm...Kouichi was right. I am stupid. You should ask somebody else!"  
Tommy: (Shrugs) "Okay"

Tommy: (Walks up to Koji) "Hey Koji I have a question for you, something even Takuya can't answer"  
Koji: "Pfft..Figures. Takuya can't answer anything right"  
Takuya: (In the distance) "I regret that!"  
Koji: (Rolls eyes) "You mean _resent_!"  
Takuya: "That too!"

Koji: (Shakes head) "Goggle-headed idiot. Whatever, what was your question Tommy?"  
Tommy: "Where do babies come from?"  
Koji: O_O "Well-err-uhm...You know Tommy you should ask someone who-err-GO ASK KOUICHI!" (Runs away)  
Tommy: (Shrugs) "...Okay"

Tommy: (Walks up to Kouichi) "Kouichi, Koji sent me to you since he can't answer the question I was asking"  
Kouichi: (Closes book he was reading [pfft...nerd! lol]) "Let me guess, was the question: 'How do I NOT become a anti-social, tight-wad of an emo kid?'"  
Koji: (From the distance) "SHUT UP!!!"  
Tommy: "No, I was wondering where babies came from"  
Kouichi: O_O; "...."  
Tommy: "Kouichi?"  
Kouichi: "..."  
Tommy: "Kouichi? Yoohoo?" (Taps Kouichi's head) "ANYONE IN THERE!?!"  
Kouichi: "Uhm...You should...Aha! You should ask someone who is more older and more mature...Like J.P for example"  
Tommy: (Grumbles) "Fine...J.P may be the oldest, but he sure acts like a five year old"

Tommy: (Walks up to J.P) "Hey J.P I have a question that Kouichi said a much more older and more mature person like yourself could answer!"  
J.P: (Smirks) "I always knew Kouichi saw me as the more fitted leader around here! Now I just have to convince Koji and Zoe. Koji will be easy since he hates Takuya right off the bat, but Zoe on the other han-"  
Tommy: "What are you talking about!?"  
J.P: "Uhhh...NOTHING! What was your question again, Tommy?"  
Tommy: "Where do babies come from?"  
J.P: O_O _Ohhh Kouichi! He is SOO GONNA GET IT NOW! _"Ya know Tommy, I think you should as a more feminine person to explain it. Such as Zoe!"  
Tommy: "Man! I've been walking all around the studio. Grrr, this better be the last person I have to go to!" (Stalks off)  
J.P: "...Phew. Now what was my plan again? Oh yes. Convince Koji and Zoe to side with me against that Takuya, and we'll all star in our own show and become big movie stars!" (Weird announcer voice) "The new movie of Zoe and J.P together forever! ...Featuring Koji" (Stops) "What? Koji's hottness will rake up the ratings! He's hawwt-Oh my gosh! Eww, I think I have a man crush on KOJI! AHHHH!" (Runs off)

Kouichi: (Looks at J.P) "Should I be concerned on any level?"  
Koji: (Shivers) "I know I'm disturbed on a very HIGH level"

Tommy: (Walks up to Zoe) "Hey Zoe, I have a question that no other guy in the studio wanted to answer...Or knew how to answer for that matter"  
Zoe: (Grins) "Why you can ask me anything Tommy. Unlike those incompetent boys, the feminine way is always the smarter, better, more prettier way!"  
Tommy: "Uhm, I have no idea what that had to do with the guys not answering my question but...Where do babies come from?"  
Zoe: (Laughs) "Silly boy, babies come from beign born" (Wow, what a detailed description!)  
Tommy: "How?"  
Zoe: "Tommy, do you really want to know?"  
Tommy: "Yes! Yes!" (Wow, eager much?)  
Zoe: "Well, babies originate from..."

_{ONE HOUR LATER}_

Tommy: "Gee thanks for clearing that all up to me Zoe" (Walks off)  
Zoe: "Any time Tommy!"  
Takuya: "Hey Z, what did you tell Tommy?"  
Zoe: (Smirks) "Oh I told him EVERYTHING"  
Takuya: "Even the...Ya know...sex!?"  
Zoe: "Huh? What sex? I was taught that babies came from the stork!"  
Takuya: O_O "O-Of course they do!" cough cough  
Zoe: "TAKUYA KANBARA YOU TELL ME WHERE BABIES COME THIS INSTANT!"  


* * *

**A/N:** Hope you all liked this one. Poor Zoe, still thinking babies came from storks. Pssh, EVERYONE knows babies are born whenever you step on a crack!

Takuya: "Doesn't that cause them to break their back or something?"

Oh my gosh! I stepped on like 20 cracks today...Crud. And I thought I was doing the world good by stepping on all them, but nooo. I'm not bringing joy to the world...I'M BRINGING PAIN AND BACK-ACHE!

P.S Remember to **R&R**!

**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**!**


	3. Digi Chat

**A/N:** Hey guys, so I'm just updating FFM cause I thought it would be pretty quick to update. ^_^ lol I'm lazy. But no worries, I'll be updating the other stories very soon :)

* * *

**::Digi-Chat::**

(Takuya Kanbara signed on)

Takuya: Anyone on?  
Takuya: ...  
Takuya: -_- This is boring.

(Kouji Minamoto signed on)

Takuya: Kouji! Finally, someone to talk to!

(Kouji Minamoto signed off)

Takuya: O_O

(Kouichi Kimura signed on)

Kouichi: Hey Takuya!  
Takuya: Your brother is mean.  
Kouichi: No derr Sherlock.  
Takuya: Now your being mean!

(Tommy Himi signed on)

Takuya: Hey Tommy!  
Kouichi: Hi  
Takuya: Your not Tommy.  
Kouichi: I was talking TO Tommy, stupid.  
Takuya: You're stupid!  
Kouichi: No, YOU'RE stupid!  
Takuya: Nuh-uh  
Kouichi: Uh-huh  
Takuya: Nuh-uh!  
Kouichi: UH-HUH!

Tommy: You guys quit it!  
Kouichi: Pssh...Takuya started it  
Takuya: Nuh-uh!  
Kouichi: Uh-huh!  
Takuya: NUH-UH!  
Kouichi: Nuh-uh  
Takuya: UH-HUH!  
Kouichi: =)  
Takuya: Oh shut up.

Tommy: Hey Takuya, did you ask Zoe yet?  
Kouichi: Oh la la, about what?  
Takuya: Butt out Kouichi  
Kouichi: Sorry dude, my butt is in and I want to know! =P  
Tommy: Takuya wants to-

(Zoe Orimoto signed on)

Zoe: Hey guys! :)  
Kouichi: Hey Zoe, Takuya wants to ask you something  
Zoe: Ask me what?

(Takuya Kanbara signed off)

Zoe: Wow... -_-;  
Kouichi: Tommy, what did Takuya want to ask?

(Tommy Himi signed off)

Zoe: Is this some kind of secret or something? ARE THEY PULLING A PRANK ON ME!  
Kouichi: No idea.

(Chibi Mami signed on)

J.P: Man, I can never change my screen name!  
Kouichi: Haha...Chibi Mama.  
J.P: It's Chibi MAMI to you!  
Kouichi: 'Kay Chibi Mami.  
J.P: Yeah that's right. ^_^

Zoe: ...  
J.P: So Zoe my love, are we set for our date at the beach this fine evening?

(Zoe Orimoto signed off)

J.P: *Gasp* Where did my lady love go to?

(J.P Shibiyama signed off)

Kouichi: Oh great, now I'm alone.

(Kouji Minamoto signed on)

Kouji: Is Kanbara gone?  
Kouichi: Yeah.  
Kouji: Good.

Kouichi: How are you on the computer?  
Kouji: I got magic powers.  
Kouichi: Well where are you?  
Kouji: My room.  
Kouichi: NO WAY, me too!  
Kouji: Idiot.

(Kouji Minamoto signed off)  
(Kouichi Kimura signed off)

(Takuya Kanbara signed on)  
(Zoe Orimoto signed on)

Takuya: Hey Zoe  
Zoe: What is it that you wanted to ask me?  
Takuya: Uhm..

Zoe: Well...?  
Takuya: It's just that I wanted to ask you...  
Zoe: Wait!  
Takuya: Waiting...

Zoe: Oh my gosh, Kouji just broke up with me! D=  
Takuya: You and Kouji were dating!  
Zoe: Haha...No. ^_^ April Fools!  
Takuya: It's not April  
Zoe: Exactly  
Takuya: Exactly what?  
Zoe: Whatever, what did you want to ask me?

Takuya: Oh well...I have two tickets to see the Shibuya on Ice show this weekend...  
Zoe: Haha, why would you want to watch a girly ice show?  
Takuya: Well, I don't. Tommy said girls like this stuff. I hate it and all but-

Zoe: Then go give it to someone who actually cares. Then you and me can go watch a movie or something this weekend. :)  
Takuya: Really?  
Zoe: Sure, I heard Monster Truck Massacre is showing on Friday.  
Takuya: Cool, I'll meet you at the movies then  
Zoe: It's a date =) See ya there!

(Zoe Orimoto signed off)

Takuya: A d-date?  
Takuya: I got a date! I got a date! I got a date! What now Shinya! WHAT NOW!

(Tommy Himi signed on)

Tommy: So, did you ask Zoe out yet?  
Takuya: Sure did, WITHOUT your help.  
Tommy: Whatever, every girl LOVES Ice shows. You should have gone with that.  
Takuya: *rolls eyes*  
Tommy: Can I have the tickets then, I met this cute girl at the arcade and she'll go nuts over these tickets.  
Takuya: They're all yours  
Tommy: Alright I have to go  
Takuya: Bye

(Takuya Kanbara signed off)  
(Tommy Himi signed off)

(Kouji Minamoto signed on)  
(Kouichi Kimura signed on)

Kouji: Dude, why are you on?  
Kouichi: I wanted to talk to you

Kouji: Creep, just walk up and talk to me then.  
Kouichi: When I do you usually beat me up.  
Kouji: And you think talking to me online will help?  
Kouichi: Yes. You may virtually bully me here, but at least it's not physical hurt!  
Kouji: The moment I get off I'm gonna beat the heck out of you.  
Kouichi: O_O

(Kouichi moved to America)

Kouji: You can't move to America, you don't have a green card.

(Kouichi moved to Mexico)

Kouji: -_-

(Kouji signed off to go kick his brother's butt)

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed this, and I haven't heard from you all in soo long so I hope you review! :D

**::ambiekinz::**


	4. Sketches & Segments

**A/N:** *gasp* no freaking way! I decided to update this since I'm in a loopy-awesome mood right now. And no, I am not 'on something' xD

Oh wow, I missed you all so much! Prepare for some randomly fun shenanigans from the frontier gang! …Gosh that sounded corny. Oh well.

* * *

Zoe: OH MY GOSH x(  
Me: Aww, what's wrong?  
Zoe: You actually decided to CONTINUE this. I was having so much fun on vacation!  
Me: And I should care about this because-?  
Zoe: BECAUSE you ruined my life! *stomps away*  
Me: Hey you can't stomp away! I write your script, and I'm pretty sure I didn't write THAT! *chases after Zoe*

Tommy: *sigh* I feel like I need more air time in this story :(  
J.P: Hmmm, well why don't we go make a cheesy commercial to un-sadden those woes?  
Tommy: Un-sadden those woes…?  
J.P: *grabs Tommy* I'll take that as a yes!  
Tommy: ….!

COMMERCIAL TIME!

J.P: *salesman smile* Hey-ho! Are you tired of drinking the same, booorrring EMOO milk? I know Kouji is!  
Kouji: Don't drag me into your sick, twisted commercial. *walks away*  
J.P: Psh-shaw, who needs that guy. He was way too emo for this commercial anyway. *turns to camera* As I was saying, tired of EMOO milk? Well we have a new and interesting new kind of milk for you!  
Tommy: *reads script* What kind of f-fascinating milk is this, J.T?  
J.P: *wacks Tommy in the head* P! It's J.P! As in JAAAYYY-PEEE.  
Tommy: Teehee. You said 'pee'.  
J.P: What a kid. ANYWAY, our new and top-of-the-line milk is called…MOOMAZING milk! This milk helps even the most emo-est kid in town, turn into a happy clam!  
Tommy: *reads script* A happy clam you say? Let me try this out. *drinks milk* O_O  
J.P: Well?  
Tommy: *forcibly swallows milk* Delicous….?  
J.P: SUCCESS! Our moomazing milk has special vitamins and minerals that help boost the energy in our bodies! And for added flavor, we added manure!  
Tommy: J.P...What's manure?  
J.P: Great question Tommy, my boy! Manure is just a fancy word for cow poo.  
Tommy: *pukes*  
J.P: Uhm…And that's all we have today folks! And don't worry, if you ever vomit…it just means it's working! *ends commercial*

Tommy: I hate you.  
J.P: Love ya too, buddy! *hugs*

Kouichi: *waves* Hi kids! I'm Kouichi, and this is my brother Kouji *gestures to sad kid next to Kouichi*  
Kouji: …  
Kouichi: Say hi to the kids, Kouji!  
Kouji: Bite me.  
Kouichi: Sorry kids, Kouji seems to be in a bad mood today! Now you're probably wondering why me and Kouji are here, huh?  
Kouji: Yeah. I'm not really sure either.  
Kouichi: We're here because the writer let us make a cute little segment to fill in space for the chapter. Isn't that swell?  
Kouji: Why do you talk like that?  
Kouichi: Good question, brother Kouji. This is because our segment is directed towards our younger audience. Presenting…MAKING LEARNING FUN & HAPPY WITH KOUICHI AND KOUJI!  
Kouji: *twitches*  
Kouichi: Let's begin with math, kids! Kouji, would you like to teach this part?  
Kouji: *fake smile* Sure! And after that I'll go dance in the meadow of gumdrops and faries!  
Kouichi: Kouji, sarcasm isn't accepted in our CLASSROOM OF HAPPINESS *smiles*  
Kouji: Classroom of happiness? Are you just making this up as you go along!  
Kouichi: I made a script, dear brother. Maybe if you took the time to read it you wouldn't be so shocked *smiles*  
Kouiji: Oh script my *beep*, this entire 'segment' is so *beep*-ed up!  
Kouichi: Good thing we have censors to hide all the ugly-talk your saying *smiles*  
Kouiji: What the *beep* is with you smiling all the time!  
Kouichi: I'm smiling because I'm HAPPY. This is the CLASSROOM OF HAPPINESS AND NOT SWEARING. *smiles* Now, how about we learn about vocabulary.  
Kouji : Can I teach that Kouichi?  
Kouichi: Oh sure, I'm glad you're getting in the spirit of this *smiles*  
Kouji: Alright, children. Here's some new words for ya. *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* and last but not least…*LE-BEEP* That was in another language. Talk about a bonus vocabulary word for the day! *grins*  
Kouichi: That was censored by the way *smiles*  
Kouiji: Oh not for the children *smiles back*  
Children: What does *swear word* mean?  
Kouichi: Noooo! I spoiled the minds of children! X_X  
Kouji: And that's the end of MAKING LEARNING FUN & HAPPY WITH KOUICHI AND KOUJI! See you next time! *waves*

Takuya: This seemed a lot more fitting for the DF Show, you know.  
Me: Hey, if I want to put fun sketches in this story I can. Sue me.  
Takuya: Well, don't I get to have a little part in this chapter?  
Me: You just did. Talking to me counts as a segment ^^  
Takuya: No it doesn't!  
Me: Well it did for Zoe.  
Zoe: *walks in* Yeah. I honestly would rather be in this, makes life easier.  
Me: *gasps* I don't want to make your life easier! *writes up a part for Zoe and Takuya* There we go. Have fun with this one. Buh-bye.  
Takuya & Zoe: Whaaa!

Zoe: *holding a taco* What's this for?  
Takuya: *whispers to Zoe* Are you kidding me? You didn't even go through your lines? What an amateur -_-  
Zoe: Lines? She never gave me a script to work with! This doesn't even make sense, isn't this story about the funny and random times of us. Not scripts and sketches!  
Takuya: *saying his lines* Why Zoe, what a nice taco you have there. And I'm not talking about the taco *winks*  
Zoe: What kind of pick-up line is that?  
Takuya: Pssttt…Don't get out of character Zoe. That is sooo un-professional. Anyway…OWW! Zoe, that was uncalled for.  
Zoe: Wha-?  
Takuya: *grabs Zoe* Oh Zoe my dear, I can never be mad at you! *leans in to a kiss*  
Zoe: I'M SO CONFUSED!  
Me: Cut, cut, cut! I'm confused too. This scene was about you two riding horses in the desert. Where does the taco fit in?  
Zoe: I don't know…  
Me: Oh Zoe, randomly bringing props to a sketch and using them in it is soooo UN-proffesional. -_-  
Takuya: I know, right?  
Zoe: RAWWWRR!  
Me: This isn't a dinosaur sketch either, missy.  
Zoe: …*beep*  
Kouji: Gotta love those *beep*-ing censors! *smiles*

* * *

**A/N**: Well that was fun to write. Hope you guys comment, I would love to hear from you all again! 3 See ya!


End file.
